I must admit a tad of amusement when I tell people who I do not have a driver’s license, though the reactions have varied over the years. Back in my early 20′s when I was living in Japan, it wasn’t that big of a deal. For am American, everything about driving in Japan sucked big time, so I was one of many “non-drivers”.
The standard Californian reaction to a 20-something who did not drive was puzzlement, followed by baffling bewilderment when they discovered I never had a license. I quickly learned why I seemed completely alien to my Californian neighbors. The vast majority of households had more than 2 cars and nobody went anywhere without them. Californians treated their vehicles as much like accessories as they did method of transportation.
I moved back to Wisconsin in my early 30′s, and the reactions were just as puzzled, but for different reasons. Many people I’ve met have been driving some sort of vehicle since they were a child, be it a tractor, snowmobile, ATV, truck, etc. So many simply cannot fathom how someone made it to my age (currently 42) without driving. The first question is usually, “How did that happen?” I’ve told this story so many times, figure I may as well get it down in writing.
How I grew up as a child in WI without ever driving a vehicle – the answer to that is pretty simple. My parents weren’t very involved in my personal life. In a “cold”, logical way, the reasons why they weren’t are understandable and can found elsewhere on this blog.
How I missed the critical point in high school where everyone was learning to drive, that’s a little more complicated story.
When I turned 15 and it became time to consider such things, family life was a bit of chaotic. That year I got caught shoplifting, experienced alcohol poisoning and spent 2 weeks in a mental hospital for troubled teens. That was also the year my parents decided to pursue their dream of running a restaurant by moving us from Waukesha to Kewaunee. This meant that a few months after starting school in Waukesha, I was transferred to another school 120 miles away.
Now I’ll be the first to admit that as we get older, some of our memories get, uhm, less-than-accurate. Having said that, when I remember is that at some point, I was told that the new school didn’t have a Driver’s Ed course. Back in those days, this was a standard class (and FREE), but since Kewaunee was such a tiny school, I guess I didn’t think it was too weird they wouldn’t have one. I don’t recall picking my classes for Kewaunee and think they just matched what I was taking in Waukesha. So I didn’t sign up for a class I didn’t think they had.
I don’t remember exactly when, but shortly after I started classes I learned they did have Driver’s Ed. Why didn’t I sign up for the class right then? I suspect there were many factors. The entire family was very, very busy running Happy’s Supper club and money was tight. Step-dad ran the bar, mom the kitchen and I was the dishwasher. The SOLE dishwasher and one who never got paid a dime for the two years he worked there (yeah, I’m still a little bitter about that).
My mornings consisted of cleaning the bathrooms, mopping behind the bar and vacuuming the bar and dining areas. I would then walk to school, do my thing there, walk home, then head into the dishwashing area and start the night’s duties, which generally lasted until around 10 or 11 (and sometimes 2am-3am on the weekends during Trout Fest).
EVERYONE in the family was busy (yes, even young TW, who took over my role of caregiver – this time for baby Gordy), and getting a license seemed such an impossibility, it never made the priority list (not that I had one, but work with me here).
There was a time about two years later after the restaurant went under and the family broke apart where I did make an attempt to learn how to drive. Alas, my teachers, as they were, weren’t very good and I didn’t get a much of practice in. So while I did attempt to get my license at one point, I failed the road test miserably. I vaguely recall the “observer” making a point that I scared him more than once. I’ll just leave it at that.
By the time I was 18, I was living on my own with the remainder of family (Mom, TW & Gord) living out on the east coast. Simply surviving was a challenge, which I didn’t always have great success with. Before I finally gave up and joined the Navy a year later, I had been homeless, drank WAY too much and had spent a weekend in a mental hospital for trying to kill myself (by sitting in the middle of HWY 29). Trust me, you wouldn’t have wanted me to have a license during that period (not that I had a chance in hell of owning a car, though I did for a very brief time, but that’s a story for another day).
Eventually not having a license just became a way-of-life. I was a bit of a recuse anyway, so it fit naturally with my “lifestyle” (for lack of a better term). Besides, I was too busy during my Navy schooling, and there was no way in HELL I was going to learn how to drive in Japan. By the time it really became a viable goal, I simply didn’t care anymore. I became adept at getting around when I needed to, so not having a license wasn’t that big of a deal.
Which continues to this day. So when people ask me these days, “How do you manage without a license?” My standard reply is, “You can’t make it to my age without driving and not learn how to be creative and resourceful.”
Why am I now learning to drive? I’m not really sure why I now care, or, honestly, if I even do. It just feels right, and I can use the challenge of something new. I must say that AT deserves a lot of credit here. Not only is she a fantastic driver, she’s also a great teacher, knowing how to motivate, correct and praise without making me feel self-conscious.
That red, turbo-diesel, cloth top convertible VW bug dream is getting a wee bit closer to reality.